Two New Yorkers have tested their friendship to date each other for more than a month. They detail the experiment on the net, like lab rats.
Dating is almost a national sport in the US, especially in New York, where people prefer to “enjoy” their relationships – drinks, cinema, sex – before they’ve even properly started.
This allows for a total lack of commitment, as temptation is everywhere and so strong. The other big advantage of dating (American style) is that you have access to multiple partners without anyone being able to judge you for it. French dating is a lot wilder and a lot less organised but the aim is the same: to enjoy oneself, in the short term, and maybe even in the long run.
Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman are in their 30’s, they are friends, both designers for advertising agencies, and both are still “available”. They know the principles of dating inside out and have decided to change the rules a little. They have used their creativity to help with their private life.
She is romantic and crazily commits to useless guys. She is always looking for “the one”. She says so herself. He is a womaniser, goes from one girl to the next, sometimes from one girl to two, or even more. Timothy is a walking cliche, the guy who fears commitment like he fears death.
As they say in their project introduction, 40daysofdating, it apparently takes 40 days to get rid of a (bad) habit. So the two friends have decided to test each other by “dating” one another for 40 days. Those dates are accompanied by questionnaires to which both of them answer on their website. There you can also find drawings, photos and mini movies in which they star.
” In an attempt to explore and get over their fears and past mistakes, Tim and Jessica are going to go through the rush of a relationship for 40days: the commitment, time, friendship, the joys and the frustrations. Can they help each other? Are they going to go through the same patterns? Is this going to be damaging to their relationships? What happens if they fall in love?” ask their blog.
Their daily statements, really their impressions of each other, only worth reading if you’ve followed the story, was published this summer (the experiment was conducted in the spring).
Still to follow is how the story ends and the conclusions drawn by the couple at the end of it. The suspense has been kept in the last few weeks as the last four days have not been released yet. It should be any day now.
Whatever the conclusion, they say they have sacrificed their private life to concentrate on the “let’s pretend we’re together”. The most delicate point of all this, both say, is to have seen each other every day for a month and a half. Playing with fire is not all that restful.
Interesting experiment but I can’t imagine that it would reveal very much. It would be quite droll if the experiment had somehow managed to ruin their friendship. Except it probably won’t have as they were just pretending. Still, let’s hope it doesn’t give others ideas. Dating a friend is NEVER a good idea and usually leads to disappointment and bitterness .