Porn used to be a good thing. Well, kinda. We’re talking back in the days when to access porn required a little dedication. Sweaty sex shops, grubby curtains leading to a small area in video shops, etc….
Porn could spice things up in stale relationships, relieve frustrated people, be it men or women, and generally be helpful to many people.
But things are very different nowadays. Everybody has a computer or a smartphone now and porn is available 24/7.
This has obviously led to an increase in people watching it and an increase in how much porn can be consumed.
And there lies the problem. Porn in itself is fine but it can lead to addiction, oh so very easily, and it is an addiction that is just too easy to satisfy.
Anybody with half a brain knows that porn is, well, unrealistic. It has nothing to do with real life and real people. As long as porn is consumed in, shall I say “normal” quantities, then nobody is likely to forget what porn actually is. The average man or woman may watch it and enjoy it but they know that in actual real life, going home means emptying the dishwasher, taking the rubbish out, getting on with boring stuff and then maybe fit in a little loving if you’re not too exhausted or stressed. The average man knows that no wife/girlfriend is likely to wait for them every day at home, wearing nothing but a pair of heels – and ready and willing to satisfy all their fantasies (except on special occasions of course). Women just want you to remember to pick up some milk before coming home and to find the hoover once in a while. Oh, and if you could stop leaving those wet towels on the bathroom floor it would be great. A bit of foreplay once in a while wouldn’t go amiss either.
Still, generally, people are pretty reasonable and are not likely to mistake the porn videos with real life.
But this distinction between reality and fantasy becomes blurred and can disappear completely with excessive consummation of porn.
The obvious harmful effect of watching too much porn is, according to researchers, the inevitable decline into violence. But there are other effects, notably for couples. American studies reveal that watching vast quantities of porn on a regular basis makes a “basic” sexual life rather disappointing, to the point where people end up not appreciating sex at all.
A scientific study led by researchers of the university of Alabama demonstrates this. A group (A) of men and women, volunteered to watch porn for one hour a week. Group B watched some funny clips for the same lapse of time. After a few weeks, detailed questioning of the two groups showed that group A (especially the men, surprise surprise) were much less satisfied with their sex life than group B. The reason of their dissatisfaction was a negative view of their partner during sex. He or she was not “up to it.”
What really happened was that the men no longer accepted that their partner might carry a little too much weight, that they might be tired, that they couldn’t/weren’t willing to “perform” like the surgically enhanced beautiful girls in the porn movies. Instead of spicing things up a bit (which is what porn advocates say should happen) for the couples, porn just made them disappointed with their sex lives and especially their partners. Apparently say the scientists, it is the quality of the relationship which is primarily important to have a happy sex life, not how good you actually are at, er, doing the deed.
It’s all rather obvious really. A couple’s long-term happiness does not depend on a frenetic sexual life. Sex is obviously important but it’s far from being the only thing binding people together. A relationship based on sex alone, no matter how good, can never last.
When you watch a lot of porn porn regularly, excitement becomes harder to attain and, as with drugs, progressively harder and stronger stimulants are needed to trigger that excitement.
So, somebody who watches porn regularly – and a lot of it – will end up finding it boring. That person will switch from regular porn to increasingly harder material, usually including violence and rape. It is an obvious and dangerous shift. Not that the man (it is usually a man) will necessarily become violent in real life, but a “basic” sexual life will no longer satisfy him in any way.
Instead of “being” in the relationship, that man will live in an imaginary phantasmagoric world. Pornography then becomes a drug, with an addiction to it and an increasingly remote attitude to the real world.
In other words, men lose their sense of reality. They forget that the girls in the porn movies are only “acting”.
Women seem to be more immune than men to porn addiction. It might be due to the fact women like to have an emotional connection with someone to have sex with them (although obviously, not always) and that they enjoy it more if the connection is there. I do personally believe that the “immunity” of women to porn addiction is because women are just more realistic than men. They might watch porn and enjoy it but they never lose sight of the fact that the hot guy who can go on for hours is probably a dumbass, that he would hog the mirror and steal your face cream and that actually, he might even be gay. Yeah, the hot guy is good enough for a little release but do we fantasize about him sharing our lives and even maybe as a potential father? Hell no!
Sexual happiness is attainable say the Alabama scientists. It is part of what is needed for the general well – being of men and women. But to constantly resort to pornographic images – false and illusory – only increases the gap between pleasure and reality, and is harmful to the blossoming of any relationship. Porn is like drugs – too much of it might not kill you but it will leave you dead inside.
So there you have it. Watch porn and enjoy it – just don’t abuse it.