Worship me


Believe me, it was all worth it. The early plastic surgery – my whole face was remade -… the obligatory sex tape…in which everybody saw me lick and suck, like a right slut. (Lol! That’s totally what I was going for.)

So, okay, I don’t even give good head…but who cares? The tape got my name out there! From then on, it was easy…got married…for a few weeks only. You may have blinked and missed it…hardly worth mentioning really. But reality TV was what made me! That and my butt, it’s earned me quite a few bucks!

I have stylists, make up artists, just the right lighting, how else do you expect me to deliver the perfect selfie?!
I have nothing to say, but me and my family display beautiful vacuity, on the screen.

Worship, worship, worship,

Don’t listen to the “haters”, instead buy my calendars… them and a pile of tissues…oh man, how could you refuse such an offer?

I’m the ultimate media whore, I would definitely sell my soul…if I had one. But my body is all yours, I have absolutely no shame or remorse.

I don’t really like minorities, but publicly I embrace diversity — oh God yeah, I never miss the opportunity to grab any kind of publicity (hi Caitlyn! love ya!)

I’m the queen of bling, so what if I’m dim, I’m bigger than God! — I’ve got more followers than him on Instagram and Twitter, so fuck the haters!

Like, seriously, you all want to be me, you’d die for a taste of celebrity, literally!

Especially now I’ve hit the jackpot and married a big-headed schmuck… he thinks he’s the messiah, to be fair he’s more famous than my vagina. Me and him, the perfect power couple, certainly not humble or subtle, but practically immortal.

The spotlight is mine… and if pearls and fine minds are hidden in obscurity, tough! Maybe it is unjust, not my problem though, right? I don’t do sorry plight.

I’m all about superficiality, so worship at my altar and keep lining my pockets with dollars. After all, you cannot deny that I’m the ultimate symbol of this diseased century.

*So I wrote this in the early hours of this morning and thought it was too bitchy. But I just read it again and, actually, I quite like it. Yeah, it is definitely bitchy but…it still makes a point*

Image credit: Chrishdzart.deviantart.com


74 thoughts on “Worship me

  1. A very remarkable point crafted by an excellent writer
    To realize droves follow and have made this a must see, UGH!!
    Hi, over there 🙂 Do enjoy your moments

    Liked by 4 people

    1. You’re not a terrible person! Lol Sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do…or gotta write what you gotta write 😉
      Thanks for reading and for the nice comment, you and I are awesome people really, no need to feel guilty 😉

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, I’m a sucker for a good pun me…so don’t apologise 😂
      And yes, it IS kind of bitchy, even *I* cannot deny that 😜
      Thanks Amanda! The appreciation of a great writer such as you are is greatly valued! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! This means a lot because I believe you to be a very fine writer. I don’t say it enough because lack of time forces me to privilege ‘reading’ over ‘commenting’, it’s terrible I know. So, thank you! 😊
      And “more famous than my vagina” is also my favourite line in this piece 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  2. “More famous than my vagina” classic, forever will be my favorite line in a poem 😈💕❤️
    I love this, not bitchy at all. Perfect satire & delicious wit. I’m so glad you decided to post it. (I dreamt about Khloe Kardashian two nights ago in a recurring dream/nightmare) it was decontamination inducing
    Fabulous post and comment on our materialistic, shallow media. ❤️ u!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That “more famous than my vagina” line has had a little success, I’m glad because it’s my favourite bit as well 😜
      Dream/nightmare? Anything involving one of the “K”s surely has to be filed under nightmare! 😂
      Thank you so much gorgeous! I’m chuffed to bits you liked it.
      ❤️ u too! 😘

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was the WORST! Mick Jagger was on my sofa making out with Khloe Kardashian, he left, she wouldn’t leave… 😧😰
        A dream I pray to never have again!! Lol

        Your words are amazing, brilliant, witty and fabulous. I always love reading you.
        Have a beautiful weekend, Beauty 🍃🌺💕

        Ps. Sitting here with my youngest watching The Walking Dead on Netflix. We needed our fix 🤓💋❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahaha that SO could happen though! Is there *anyone* out there Mick hasn’t done? Loool
        And I can totally see her outstay her welcome! 😂
        Thank you so much for your beautiful comments, they brighten my day ❤️
        Wishing a wonderful weekend also, not that I need to…Netflix and the Walking Dead? Perfect! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

    1. You might think so because you haven’t experienced it…but would you *really* be happy posting selfies all day, being bothered by stylists and make-up artists for HOURS just so you can be photo worthy, not having a brain and not knowing anything worth knowing, selling every single bit of your life, being filmed 24/7, etc?? Well, I can say in total honesty that I’d MUCH rather be me! 😜

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah that would suck if you had to do that for 40 years. I would have retired after the 2nd season but I guess it’s never enough for her. Perhaps she’s just riding the train as hard as she can since her looks do have an expiry date. She’s only rich and famous because enough people buy what she is selling and I think that’s the saddest part.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I have a *real* problem with vacuous people. Especially when they’re “famous” and you therefore can’t turn on the TV or walk down the street without seeing their faces everywhere. It drives me nuts. We were discussing it last night with friends and it induced this little rant 😉 x

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I love this post and thank you for posting it without reservation. “She has nothing to say.” Many say this and yet, there’s an audience. Who is watching, I wonder. Certainly not me. Even major news media sites are being added to my banned list because they report on her walking to and from her car. Why keep updated on the news when this is what I’m told is relevant? Exactly. I do not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, there is an audience and, like you, I have no idea who is watching…but somebody obviously is…it’s maddening, isn’t it? lol
      It also angers me when actual real news is pushed back to make room for “Kim is pregnant”. HOW is that more newsworthy that people losing their jobs, the recession, political debates, earthquakes, etc…
      Not to mention, as you said, when they just report on her walking down the street wearing whatever designer dress. It’s pathetic. Anyway, mustn’t rant again (lol) thank you so much for taking the time to visit 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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