Believe me, it was all worth it. The early plastic surgery – my whole face was remade -… the obligatory sex tape…in which everybody saw me lick and suck, like a right slut. (Lol! That’s totally what I was going for.)
So, okay, I don’t even give good head…but who cares? The tape got my name out there! From then on, it was easy…got married…for a few weeks only. You may have blinked and missed it…hardly worth mentioning really. But reality TV was what made me! That and my butt, it’s earned me quite a few bucks!
I have stylists, make up artists, just the right lighting, how else do you expect me to deliver the perfect selfie?!
I have nothing to say, but me and my family display beautiful vacuity, on the screen.
Worship, worship, worship,
Don’t listen to the “haters”, instead buy my calendars… them and a pile of tissues…oh man, how could you refuse such an offer?
I’m the ultimate media whore, I would definitely sell my soul…if I had one. But my body is all yours, I have absolutely no shame or remorse.
I don’t really like minorities, but publicly I embrace diversity — oh God yeah, I never miss the opportunity to grab any kind of publicity (hi Caitlyn! love ya!)
I’m the queen of bling, so what if I’m dim, I’m bigger than God! — I’ve got more followers than him on Instagram and Twitter, so fuck the haters!
Like, seriously, you all want to be me, you’d die for a taste of celebrity, literally!
Especially now I’ve hit the jackpot and married a big-headed schmuck… he thinks he’s the messiah, to be fair he’s more famous than my vagina. Me and him, the perfect power couple, certainly not humble or subtle, but practically immortal.
The spotlight is mine… and if pearls and fine minds are hidden in obscurity, tough! Maybe it is unjust, not my problem though, right? I don’t do sorry plight.
I’m all about superficiality, so worship at my altar and keep lining my pockets with dollars. After all, you cannot deny that I’m the ultimate symbol of this diseased century.
*So I wrote this in the early hours of this morning and thought it was too bitchy. But I just read it again and, actually, I quite like it. Yeah, it is definitely bitchy but…it still makes a point*
Image credit: Chrishdzart.deviantart.com