Believe me, it was all worth it. The early plastic surgery – my whole face was remade -… the obligatory sex tape…in which everybody saw me lick and suck, like a right slut. (Lol! That’s totally what I was going for.)
So, okay, I don’t even give good head…but who cares? The tape got my name out there! From then on, it was easy…got married…for a few weeks only. You may have blinked and missed it…hardly worth mentioning really. But reality TV was what made me! That and my butt, it’s earned me quite a few bucks!
I have stylists, make up artists, just the right lighting, how else do you expect me to deliver the perfect selfie?!
I have nothing to say, but me and my family display beautiful vacuity, on the screen.
Worship, worship, worship,
Me!
Don’t listen to the “haters”, instead buy my calendars… them and a pile of tissues…oh man, how could you refuse such an offer?
I’m the ultimate media whore, I would definitely sell my soul…if I had one. But my body is all yours, I have absolutely no shame or remorse.
I don’t really like minorities, but publicly I embrace diversity — oh God yeah, I never miss the opportunity to grab any kind of publicity (hi Caitlyn! love ya!)
I’m the queen of bling, so what if I’m dim, I’m bigger than God! — I’ve got more followers than him on Instagram and Twitter, so fuck the haters!
Like, seriously, you all want to be me, you’d die for a taste of celebrity, literally!
Especially now I’ve hit the jackpot and married a big-headed schmuck… he thinks he’s the messiah, to be fair he’s more famous than my vagina. Me and him, the perfect power couple, certainly not humble or subtle, but practically immortal.
The spotlight is mine… and if pearls and fine minds are hidden in obscurity, tough! Maybe it is unjust, not my problem though, right? I don’t do sorry plight.
I’m all about superficiality, so worship at my altar and keep lining my pockets with dollars. After all, you cannot deny that I’m the ultimate symbol of this diseased century.
*So I wrote this in the early hours of this morning and thought it was too bitchy. But I just read it again and, actually, I quite like it. Yeah, it is definitely bitchy but…it still makes a point*
Image credit: Chrishdzart.deviantart.com
I likes it. Man, you could use her ass crack as a motorcycle stand.
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You are, my friend, *totally* obsessed with her butt!! Haha
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I am. I’m a total slut for such things. Oh, well, someone’s gotta do it. 🙂
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Love it. Bitchy, it isn’t. The truth hurts eh! 👍👍👍👍👍👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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I knew you’d like this one Natascha! 😂
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Yeah..If that is bitchy, then I am right there with you! And proud of it haha! 👍👏👍😉😘Thanks a million for posting this!
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Thanks a million for being so consistently supportive Natascha! 😘❤️
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I can’t help it. You really have a talent. Even if I don’t always agree with you, I love how honest you are. 😘😘😘😘😘
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Thank you! But…you don’t *always* agree with me??!! Natascha! I’m shocked. And appalled! Hahahaha
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Hahaaaaa Most shocking! Haha..Usually it comes down to whether or not white or red wine is better hahaha
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😂
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Profound disagreements, obviously! 😂😂
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Oh gosh, yeah! Red or white wine is a MAJOR issue! 😉 Loool
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😂😂😂😂😂Of course! Definitely best discussed over a drink!
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Over a drink…yes…of WHITE wine. Burgundy white wine 😜😂
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Naturally! I am quite keen on French wine anyway..red or white! 👍😉😍
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A very remarkable point crafted by an excellent writer
To realize droves follow and have made this a must see, UGH!!
Hi, over there 🙂 Do enjoy your moments
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Thank you Jay!! Amazing comment from a fantastic poet, I’m humbled…and so very grateful 😊
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Brilliant.
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Aw, thanks! 😜
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It’s bitchy, but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! I really liked and enjoyed this, and if that makes me terrible person, then so be it! 😀 Thanks for sharing!
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You’re not a terrible person! Lol Sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do…or gotta write what you gotta write 😉
Thanks for reading and for the nice comment, you and I are awesome people really, no need to feel guilty 😉
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Haha well I’m very pleased to hear it! 😁 You’re very welcome, keep these coming!
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Haha I’ll try! I listen to the muse whenever she decides to show up…but she’s not always around 😉
Thank *you* 🙂
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Funny, my husband and I were JUST talking about her. Perfect post. Not bitchy, spot on!
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What a coincidence, right? I was talking about Kim K and her family last night with some friends…hence the write up 😉
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Haha! I love this! It cracked me up… (Excuse the pun!)
Written with truth, not bitchy at all… Well, maybe a little. 😜
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Oh, I’m a sucker for a good pun me…so don’t apologise 😂
And yes, it IS kind of bitchy, even *I* cannot deny that 😜
Thanks Amanda! The appreciation of a great writer such as you are is greatly valued! ❤️
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‘More famous than my vagina’ – Haha! my favorite words. This really cuts through the shallowness to the hollowness beneath. Good work 🙂
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Thank you! This means a lot because I believe you to be a very fine writer. I don’t say it enough because lack of time forces me to privilege ‘reading’ over ‘commenting’, it’s terrible I know. So, thank you! 😊
And “more famous than my vagina” is also my favourite line in this piece 😉
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“More famous than my vagina” classic, forever will be my favorite line in a poem 😈💕❤️
I love this, not bitchy at all. Perfect satire & delicious wit. I’m so glad you decided to post it. (I dreamt about Khloe Kardashian two nights ago in a recurring dream/nightmare) it was decontamination inducing
Fabulous post and comment on our materialistic, shallow media. ❤️ u!!
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That “more famous than my vagina” line has had a little success, I’m glad because it’s my favourite bit as well 😜
Dream/nightmare? Anything involving one of the “K”s surely has to be filed under nightmare! 😂
Thank you so much gorgeous! I’m chuffed to bits you liked it.
❤️ u too! 😘
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It was the WORST! Mick Jagger was on my sofa making out with Khloe Kardashian, he left, she wouldn’t leave… 😧😰
A dream I pray to never have again!! Lol
Your words are amazing, brilliant, witty and fabulous. I always love reading you.
Have a beautiful weekend, Beauty 🍃🌺💕
Ps. Sitting here with my youngest watching The Walking Dead on Netflix. We needed our fix 🤓💋❤️
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Hahaha that SO could happen though! Is there *anyone* out there Mick hasn’t done? Loool
And I can totally see her outstay her welcome! 😂
Thank you so much for your beautiful comments, they brighten my day ❤️
Wishing a wonderful weekend also, not that I need to…Netflix and the Walking Dead? Perfect! 😘
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😘😘😘😘
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Beats working a regular job for 40 years..lol
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You might think so because you haven’t experienced it…but would you *really* be happy posting selfies all day, being bothered by stylists and make-up artists for HOURS just so you can be photo worthy, not having a brain and not knowing anything worth knowing, selling every single bit of your life, being filmed 24/7, etc?? Well, I can say in total honesty that I’d MUCH rather be me! 😜
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Yeah that would suck if you had to do that for 40 years. I would have retired after the 2nd season but I guess it’s never enough for her. Perhaps she’s just riding the train as hard as she can since her looks do have an expiry date. She’s only rich and famous because enough people buy what she is selling and I think that’s the saddest part.
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Yeah, I believe it’s called: milking it for all it’s worth 😜 …and yeah, it is sad that so many identify with such a shallow individual…
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This is awesome! Love it Nathalie. Every word and line. Super writing. ❤️🙏
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Thank you so much Antony! Your comments always brighten my day, as do your own beautifully penned posts ❤️
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Absolutely love it. A woman after my own heart. Sums up the plastic brigade perfectly. ;)x
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Thank you! I have a *real* problem with vacuous people. Especially when they’re “famous” and you therefore can’t turn on the TV or walk down the street without seeing their faces everywhere. It drives me nuts. We were discussing it last night with friends and it induced this little rant 😉 x
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Very true though. ;)x So well written too.
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Amen, sister! I Love it! xx
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Thank you!! I’m so, SO pleased you liked it! xx
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Gawd! I can’t stand that ginormous ass, and that’s her most redeeming quality. No thanks!!
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Hahaha! Thank you Rob for this comment, I just spat out my chocolate due to laughter! 😂
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The line, “I’m the ultimate symbol of this diseased century” was a perfect closer.
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Thank you, I was quite pleased with it myself 😉
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Agreed ❤
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Thank you! 🙂
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Fantastic and spot on!
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Thank you! 😉
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My pleasure Lovely. Smiles.
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I love this post and thank you for posting it without reservation. “She has nothing to say.” Many say this and yet, there’s an audience. Who is watching, I wonder. Certainly not me. Even major news media sites are being added to my banned list because they report on her walking to and from her car. Why keep updated on the news when this is what I’m told is relevant? Exactly. I do not.
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Yes, there is an audience and, like you, I have no idea who is watching…but somebody obviously is…it’s maddening, isn’t it? lol
It also angers me when actual real news is pushed back to make room for “Kim is pregnant”. HOW is that more newsworthy that people losing their jobs, the recession, political debates, earthquakes, etc…
Not to mention, as you said, when they just report on her walking down the street wearing whatever designer dress. It’s pathetic. Anyway, mustn’t rant again (lol) thank you so much for taking the time to visit 🙂
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Love it!. The kardashians family is all about sex tapes and getting famous without even trying to be famous.
You have nailed this blog right on the tooth. Excellent work. 🙂
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Thank you Charlie! This one wrote itself really, I just had to release the bitch in me…easy 😉 Haha
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hahahaha!!! excellent! 🙂
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Totally in line with the times.
Allô? Allô quoi?
🙂
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😀
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It definitely speaks of the times
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definitely NOT too bitchy…
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Brilliant, thank you! I don’t mind my writing to be acerbic or cynical…etc…but I never want it to be full out bitchy, you know?
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Yepe, you nailed it!!! So glad you posted it. 🙂
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Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it 😉
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Yes. It made the point very well. The artificiality of KK’s life comes out so well here. Kudos.
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Thank you! I was quite pleased with this “bitchy” post 😉
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Haha, this was great! I’m so glad that you decided to post it. As a celebrity journalist, I can certainly see the point 😉
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Famous for the sake of being famous. Between her and Miley, I don’t know which makes me more ill.
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I know, right? They are just vile. Ugh.
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Not bitchy at all, you are spot on correct and the sad thing is children grow wanting to be reality TV star’s!!
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It is SO incredibly sad!
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