Why so serious? If I look like a deer caught in the headlights, that’s because it’s exactly what I feel like. Another year, another birthday. On the surface, I’m totally cool about it, but underneath this placid exterior, there is a voice full of terror (and horror) roused from its torpor by the inevitability of the passage of time. Admittedly, I’m a bit of a freak like that… but I’ve been feeling the pull of time since I turned nineteen and I suddenly realised that there was so much to do — and that a lifetime would never ever be enough to do, and feel it all.
Today is when I allow myself to freak out a little, tonight I will slap some sense into my dramatic silly self, and by tomorrow I will be ready to face the day, my birthday. With a smile and (kinda) peaceful mind. And because I’d hate to have grabbed the attention of all of you good people for nothing more than some slight (yeah, right) pre-birthday panic, here’s a little writing from last night 🙂
Everywhere you can find some kind of malaise, but the truth is, for most of us happiness is within reach, yet our minds have grown selfish and cannot grasp that fact. Is it any wonder navel gazing is the disease of this century? Miserable and morose by choice if we don’t have it all…won’t you wake up and smell the coffee…and stop and smell the roses, you screwballs?
No, heaven forbid we should ever be reasonable, we like to foist negative thoughts on ourselves, and everyone else, we refuse to face life with anything resembling grace. Far from perfect? It’s a frown and a scowl, the frivolous needs of people have them caught in a spiral…or is it a circle? In any case, we’re talking hollow rather than hallowed. A hell of a lot of shitty things happen, and there is evil in this world, on a grand scale as well as everyday mundane, but there’s also beauty and kindness in so many different places….it really is up to us…and now I’m going to shut up because I’m starting to sound like…I don’t know, some kind of preacher…and I don’t want to be one of them, I’d much rather be…an oracle…divination comes easy to us INFJs after all…is that the sound of my ego? I might just climb down from that pedestal and pledge to stop writing under the influence of alcohol…or not. Over and out…and everyone’s relief is palpable.