Real

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When you are left stranded, alone, in a boat, sails ruined, oars tossed overboard, nothing left to row your way out of trouble, the saviour winds hardly ever come from the nearby coast, but from far away — they cross oceans and continents, mountains and plains to gently steer you back to port.

The words and thoughts of those kindred souls…balm for your heart, blessed calm after the storm.
When blood and water run thin, it’s the far-off misfits who, improbably, have your back when things are out of whack.

“Virtual friends are not real“, you say with disdain, smug in that knowledge which is as fake as the caring look on your face and your noisy show of support.

Real isn’t necessarily what you see, sometimes, real is what you feel. I feel empty when you’re in the same room as me, I feel alone and cold in your proximity.

Sometimes, my unimaginative ‘friend’, real is on the other side of the globe.

And for all those real, wonderful far-flung people, I will be forever grateful.

*For all my virtual but nonetheless real friends out there. You know who you are. Special mention to Candice whose words last week were invaluable*

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41 thoughts on “Real

  1. I’ve never met some of my very best friends – I know them solely through blogging and email. Their support is no less real. Our enjoyment of each other’s company no less wonderful. It takes more than a hand to touch a soul x

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  2. The connections we make with people we would never have met without the magic of the internet is mind blowing. ‘Real is what you feel’, I love that, I have more worthwhile, emotional and enjoyable connections on WordPress than I do in offline life.

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  3. You put your finger not on the button but on the PULSE. You basically know how in your writing to magnify truth. I love that about your writing (among other things). Expounding on our conversation this is exactly what we mean – that someone you may not have physically met is as REAL as someone you had. If you think about it that makes sense because how many people are killed by a husband they slept next to every night or betrayed by a wife who was cheating on them right under their nose and they didn’t know it? Reality is over rated 😉 No it’s not even that is it? Reality is what you make of it. If you are as you are, a writer (a magnificent writer) then you know so well that words are power, and those words can have skins every bit as real as shaking hands. Just because we are physically with someone doesn’t stop them from misrepresenting themselves. Indeed, when we write, we often reveal far more than we would bladdered in a pub (tee hee). Ultimately whether IRL or not, we make connections, and nobody has the right to say ‘one is real’ and ‘one is not’ when only we know what matters to us. I have found that many of the people I have met online were more sincere than IRL, now whether they would come to my bedside if I were dying is a different matter (but personally I’m all for just dying and not drawing that shit out anyway). You’re a magnificent truth teller Nathalie. I could see many writing poems about your affect on them, and rightly so. Muses aren’t always physically right there, but within us and without us. You have that pull in your writing and to think you are equally capable in two languages, hints at your depth. Oh and on a superficial level you’re a lot of fun because you like football and swords, I mean, seriously, the best kind of girl to be.

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    1. Oh yes! How can people who read your stuff regularly NOT get to know you? Of course we reveal a hell of a lot in our writing, it would be impossible to write without doing so. We are, as usual, totally on the same wave length. Except you’ve gone and made me blush again…*you* are the muse, Candice. You are to me and countless others, and THAT is a fact. I don’t mind admitting that I’m awed by your writing abilities as well as your absolute amazingness as a person. Don’t you dare change, don’t you dare go anywhere, because if you did, there would be a huge Candice-shaped hole in my life #Fact

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      1. And you make me laugh at the most hilarious things as well as being really serious which is a really good combination so we’re officially fan-girls of one another, this is good since we’re both fussy about liking people – I agree with everything you said in your post and I especially think we bare ourselves raw and that means others can know the REAL us not the cleavage us we present when out at the pub. How can that be considered less real?

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      2. I’m definitely a fan-girl of you! Like, I’m thinking of getting a “Candice ROCKS” t-shirt or something 😉
        Yes, it’s been a pain to me all my life that I’m so fussy with people, whether it’s friends or lovers, I can’t just ‘like’ someone like the regular folks out there. Also, I LOVE that expression “the cleavage us” brilliant!

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      3. Let’s stick with ‘I choose violence’ although in all seriousness what’s happening across the world right now I really don’t (choose violence) I wish so much this insanity would bugger right off! Heard about the French Cleric this am and just thought AGAIN REALLY? urgh. Like you, so like you I am fussy, it sounds like I must think a lot of myself, I really don’t though, not at all, it’s not that type of snobbery and I doubt it is for you either. I don’t know what it is? Intolerance for stupidity definitely but something more. What do you think?

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      4. Oh fuck no, it’s not about thinking a lot of ourselves, it’s definitely intolerance for stupidity (in my case anyway) and a general sense that life is short, too short for superficial and shallow, that it’s too short not to be meaningful. Repeating myself but it’s so important. I don’t want to waste time doing small talk and trying to connect with people who have nothing in common with me. It doesn’t mean that my friends HAVE to like everything I like, it just means they have to have some kind of depth…maybe I’m not explaining it very well, I’m kinda sleep deprived

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      5. I can be horrifically stupid hence being good at laughing at myself but yeah, mostly I can’t stand it when someone is willfully ignorant, I guess that’s similar to stupidity but not the same as Benny stupidity, more like chosen to be stupid. And you’re right. I have only so much energy I can’t disperse it very much and so I pick accordingly. Small talk I’m with you on that (unless it’s about Game of Thrones then I make a massive exception) it’s funny because I know quite a few people who actually feel MORE comfortable with small talk than anything deeper! And prefer adverts to actual TV shows! Ok so I don’t and won’t try to understand that. You explain everything my friend. xx

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  4. This is so true, I don’t seem to make many friends in the real, I guess I’m kind of an introvert. The people in my circles are just not into the things that I am.
    It’s sad I guess but I have made some friends here, scattered throughout the world and it is really awesome to find some connection.

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    1. I’m an introvert also, I’ve always found it difficult to form deep and meaningful friendships because I don’t do small talk and most of the time I’d rather be reading in a dark corner than going to a party.
      The result is that I don’t have that many close friends, but the ones I have are for life. That’s how I want it to be though, I hate all that fake “I have 900 Facebook friends” when probably no more than 5 of them are actual friends. It’s just ridiculous and I have no time for that. Life is short, if it’s not meaningful, then f**k it, you know? Shallow and superficial is just not for me 😁

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  5. super, comme d’hab’… ❤
    * * *
    "L'amitié totale est universelle et elle seule peut être une amitié totale. Tout lien particulier manque de profondeur, s'il n'est ouvert à l'amitié universelle."(Jean Guitton)
    * * *
    @"words and thoughts of those kindred souls…" – absolutely…
    Mylène Farmer & Abe Laboriel – les mots(words):

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yeah, same! I have visualised the both of us sitting in a dark corner of a bar, frantically scribbling on paper napkins for a duet that has just spontaneously occurred to us (for some reason this fantasy doesn’t allow phones, although that’s how I write these days 😜)

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