Not a beautiful ending

~ Purpleanais

image

My dear gorgeous girl,
you’re under my skin — all that’s really missing is the x-rated dreams I should be having about you. But no matter how hard I look, it’s not there.

I love you in all the ways that matter,
except one
and even though I want to
there’s so much love
but no desire.

None. Whatsoever.

I sometimes fear my feelings could crack the sun, but the complete absence of lust, when there’s never been so much trust, is downright harrowing, not to mention confusing.

How can you make my heart tremble when your luscious lips leave me cold?

My body recoils from your soft beauty, I want masculinity and I need rough.

You breathe, I breathe you in. It’s intense, it’s everything…but sin.
I wish I could just
spark the flames
but I’m unable to change
how I was made,
not that I’ve ever wanted to… not until now, not until you.

It’s still a love story, right? You’re just not gonna be my beautiful ending.

33 thoughts on “Not a beautiful ending”

    1. I already know your thoughts on a woman loving another woman but not being sexually attracted to her? I don’t remember ever discussing this with you, dear Sir? Was your comment meant for my previous post? I’m slightly confused…

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      1. No we never discussed, though I have empathy for this. My thoughts were more related to you needing masculinity

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    1. Thank you, I’m writing quite a bit at the moment and I don’t always reflect before posting, I have to learn to make sure that whatever I produce is worth sharing…however all those lovely comments make the posting worthwhile 🙂

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  11. Right now it’s like you inhabit the truth. You own it.
    This is EXACTLY how you feel after you leave someone because they’ve let you down and your heart has grown completely indifferent EVEN though it still hurts it doesn’t hurt for them to return, it hurts for none of it to have existed and how could you have ever felt differently but you did and such is the madness of emotion and the change from one to another.
    Yep you got this down.
    When you write it out my friend, you set it on fire. Good job!

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  12. Oh, the heartbreak in wanting that from someone…and being unable to find it. So beautifully done and expressed, Nathalie. ❤ She was very lucky to have you…even for a short while.

    Liked by 1 person

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