Here’s me: an adult singing, dancing, acting like a 13 year old girl
wearing a wife beater and cap, I’m a chav, on Twitter & Instagram
You all need to see this, hence the 25 generic hashtags
‘Twas my birthday, a “private” moment between friends
that obviously had to make it onto the Internet
coz it was evidently of interest to the entire world, along with…
“I’m on my way back from the gym
Also, I’m in love (with…)
someone on the train is eating – now I’m watching a film
I’m crazy about queen Britney
I’m sweet, it’s all about my family
Oh, and I’m in love (with…thinly disguised name)
Here’s me in nothing but pants,
do I look good?
I’m brilliant, I’m at work, look!
By the way, I’m in love (*with…actual name)”
It’s all utterly banal, mundane, hop onto my run-of-the-mill train
No, I’m not ashamed of my attention-seeking, insecurity, or my emotional and all round immaturity, plus
I have no interest in depth and words when there’s an ample supply of fab emojis
I share every detail of my life
on social media
my faux-deep thoughts, intimate & excruciatingly embarrassing feelings, videos, pics — everything posted on public sites
cheap, shallow, needy
Pleeeeeease love me, please validate me
Please listen, look, at…everything
otherwise, clearly I don’t exist
I may be the living embodiment of stupidity
but I don’t care, look at my hair
Aren’t I sexy? Don’t people fancy me?
What do you mean some laugh at me, believe I’m moronic…even…a freak?
They don’t think I’m adorable? They laugh, say I’m kinda creepy with my over-sharing?
They’re just haters, trying to shatter my one-way mirror
No worry, I’ll hang on to my delusions to the bitter
Unfortunately, because I’m not smart & smack of desperation
I will be fooled, taken in
by people I won’t ever really know –
even if I fuck them, am obsessed with them
constantly talk to them – I’ll still never get past the surface
Day will turn to night, too late to wipe the slate clean and start again
Attention-seeking is well and good, until it’s the devil who turns his gaze on you – my social media life basically screams: use me, abuse me! – it’s not a joke, attention-seeking might, one day, actually kill me.
Pray that I, and others like me, eventually learn
that instant gratification,
feeding off a high
is not right, is not life –
it’s possibly the furthest you can get
*This came about after one of my friends phoned me on Sunday, and during the conversation mentioned a car crash on Twitter that was so horrifying it made it hard to look away. “You probably don’t want to look, Nat, but it’s both the saddest and funniest thing I’ve seen in ages” he said. Boy, was he right. I mean, we all hear about these people, but until you’re faced with their desperation and insecurity, it’s quite hard to believe the depth of their neediness — it’s also incredibly hard not to be thinking about the mental health issues they might very well suffer from, and which this addiction to telling the world everything can’t possibly help. There are many articles out there about social media and its links to mental health problems, whether it helps diagnose them, and/or cause them – this one is quite good because it openly admits there are many unknowns: Online Social Networking and Mental Health