You feel alive, you haven’t felt anything like this in a long time.
You feel changed, renewed, like your dreams are finally coming true…like you’re catching a break, you have found your soulmate – the potency of new supply is unrivalled, there is nothing more powerful.
Are you even aware, yourself, of the cycle? Or do you believe it’s fate, higher powers colliding, destiny intervening to make you happy…you do, don’t you? You poor deluded fool.
You’re feeding off a high that won’t last, sooner rather than later you’re going to crash down to earth
and it’s going to hurt
you’ll feel empty again
and your supply will be left behind
with nothing but shards of broken glass.
But, for a short while, you’re alive
the intensity of it
is worth everything
people, anything standing in your path
I, too, feel alive
but my alive is not dependent on a tide,
external sources or supply,
my alive is real,
not a powerful illusion,
it comes from deep inside
me, from a strong will, from inner strength
I have come through the other side
intact, free, with an honest heart & a victor’s enigmatic smile — alive
The therapist I used to work with takes a look at this blog from time to time (thank you!) and he suggested I come up with a short, poetic & *positive* piece about “surviving” NPD – I’m not sure if this is what he was after, but here it is.