I’d been in the desert for too long. So, that night, clear thinking went out the window: I got myself a one-night stand, not realising I was about to follow Alice into wonderland.

At first, it was the usual: you break the fast, you go a little bit mad… no harm done really, say goodbye the next morning and forget about it…but I wasn’t counting on the fact I attract weirdos, and that’s when they’re not full out psychos.

He got weird as I was leaving, said I was beyond beautiful and, sweet Jesus, from somewhere (where?!) produced a rose which he offered in his open palm while gazing in awe at my messy hair & clothes.

“When are we doing this again?” he asked. “When“…a clear assumption that we would – alarms bells rang and I knew I had to eschew polite excuses and be straight with him.

“Never” I told him, ’twas nice and all, but it was a one-off, that’s all.”

His face crumpledย and I suddenly understood he was going to be major trouble. Regret engulfed me, too late – no sex is worth all this aggro.

The nightmare – or was it a bad joke? I’m not sure – started:
everywhere I went he followed, he didn’t even let up after I cornered him in the library where I whispered as loudly as I dared – aware of the librarian’s furious stare – that: “no, no and no, we’ve got to go our separate ways, leave me the fuck alone. If nothing else, have some pride, man…you don’t really want me, you need to work on your issues, here’s my therapist’s card, please give him a call.”

2 weeks of constantly looking over my shoulder and harbouring thoughts of murder…2 weeks of him always, always managing to find me. And then…

I turned up at this bar one night: live band, friends, guitars, everything I like, the making of a good evening…until I spied the freak from the corner of my eye, crying in his beer coz I wouldn’t hit repeat.
Dude was sobbing like a teenage girl devastated by her first disaster crush.

I got so madย & thought: jeez! That night, I must have been real drunk, how the fuck else did I end up with such a pussy…
I was feeling thoroughly sorry for myself… but then it got worse when he suddenly punched the bartender who’d winked at me.

Holy shit!

All I’d wanted was to get back in the saddle, and I’d managed to mount the craziest horse in the stable.
The police was called, blood flowed from the bartender’s nose, I stood there feeling morose, solemnly promising myself that from now on I’d keep my legs closed.

“Possession… addiction…obsession…” my friends muttered darkly as the freak was finally carted away…until
the bartender came over, his face a total mess – grinning though – he kinda looked grotesque, to be honest…and asked for my number.

“Are you fucking serious? Did that blow to the head make you delirious? No thanks, I’d rather go back in the desert and stay there for all eternity than have to deal with this kind of shit. Let’s face it: most of you guys are crazy! I’m going to go and buy a tub of Ben & Jerry’s, a dildo, find a taxi, go home, lock my doors… and possibly not come out again until men have…evolved…into fully-functioning human beings – into people actually capable of rational thought.”

I walked out the door, not looking back, not once, leaving trouble behind once and for all.

*Not a true story obviously (TF) but I’ve had my fair share of obsessed weirdos. I was talking about it with a friend tonight and she suggested I write a (hopefully) funny little something about it.
The bit about punching the bartender is true: the guy who did the punching was a friend I’d never even flirted with, let alone anything else, but that night he went into a crazy fit of jealousy, and there was blood, and the police was called and I felt aw-ful…and the bartender still asked me for my number *massive eye roll*
The bit about the rose is real too, to this day I find it really freaky.
I have experienced even darker shades of obsession and that is no joke..maybe one day I’ll write about it*

Image credit:ย thelifespanofadoll.tumblr.com

27 thoughts on “Obsessed

    1. Nah, as I said, I’ve had my share of weirdos but nothing like this has ever happened to me. One-night stands though, are always a bit of a gamble. In my humble opinion.
      Sorry if I gave you a little bit of a fright, my dear Sir ๐Ÿ˜˜


  1. I’ve had my share of women who would’ve given Glenn Close a run for her money in Fatal Attraction. There’s absolutely nothing flattering when these obsessive people enter our lives. It’s frightening and disturbing. However, I did like your story, and especially cutting was the fact that one beautiful night could turn out to be eternal hell. Great stuff, Nathalie!


      1. At first I thought that it was flattering. Soon it became evident that it really had nothing to do with me, but only with their deranged perception. Wow. That wasn’t very romantic of me to say that! ๐Ÿ˜€


      2. Oh yes, you got it in one: some might see it as flattering but there’s nothing flattering about it because it’s actually about them, not about us. It might not be romantic but it’s the truth ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay so this is weird. What I wrote today was much like this. The idea of obsession, of this crazy love and all the fucked up shit.
    Men have long written about this. From Baudelaire on … and us girls we haven’t as much so I see that in your writing, a ‘I dare to say it’ coming out, and thank god it’s not chick-lit because I fucking HATE chick-lit and I love that rawness that you write but we need to have a category so it doesn’t fall into chick-lit or get swallowed by male-ego-shit
    Okay that’s what you are
    this is a great example.
    you always make me laugh out loud actually OUT LOUD
    because you mock the world and feelings and pain but it’s not because you’re a bitch it’s because you KNOW and you FEEL and you admit that but you laugh anyway because what the hell else can we do?
    This was a really good story, I can’t relate completely as I was usually on the end that got fucked over than given a red rose but I get it, I really get it, and I laugh because of the insanity of all this and how some have NEVER experienced it and why have we? ha ha ha! omg now I can’t stop laughing you just set me off because this is all so funny and true and you write it out and that’s something women rarely do and Julie Berchill eat your heart out!


  3. Wow, what a horrible situation to be in! I feel desperately sorry for the poor narrator! Back to the desert, indeed! Sounds like she has the right idea, though: Ben & Jerry’s seems to have that magical rejuvenating effect on the disappointed and the despaired! Not sure about the dildo, though…but I imagine that has a similar effect! ๐Ÿ˜€
    A great little piece, filled with attitude and made more poignant by the inclusion of some personal experience. Where the bloody hell did that rose come from?…Thanks for sharing, it makes for delicious, creepy reading!
    Speaking of creepy reading, I wrote a story last year before we came across one another which you might be interested in. It follows a similar theme to this story, but is told from the perspective of the obsessive creep. Maybe you’d like to take a look some time? Note: it is most definitely NOT from personal experience! https://adamdixonfiction.com/2015/07/26/golden-hair/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha Ben & Jerry’s is a magical cure, I really believe that ๐Ÿ˜‰
      As for the rose, I never worked out where it came from looool
      I’m glad you enjoyed AND mentioned the “attitude” in this, I wrote it with a quite humorous tone as well (I thought)
      Now I’m off to read yours ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

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