In my defence

rape_by_flickan

Her skirt was so short, I – everyone – could see her lace panties
Her nipples were showing underneath the filmy blouse she was wearing
She repeatedly winked at me throughout the evening
She kept licking her slutty-red lips, suggestively
Her tongue poked out between her teeth,
before wrapping itself around the tip of the beer bottle
she was drinking – 
Afterwards, she grinned salaciously
stroked my thigh, my arm continuously
We danced, she rubbed her arse against me
She let me buy her
not one,
but five drinks – 30 quid’s worth – there’s gotta be some perks
I’m telling you, she was well up for it

So, you see, it wasn’t rape,
even though her eyes were glazed
her arms and legs spread every which way
I didn’t hit her or force my way in
she was just unresponsive, not unwilling
I didn’t get upset
when she puked, half-way through
vomit splattering all over my shoes
I never even got head
in the end, for God’s sake!
Afterwards,
I didn’t leave her in the alley
I made sure to put her in a taxi
So, you see,
I only did
what any red-blooded male
would have done in my place
If you think that’s rape,
we have become too sensitive
as a society
which is obviously ruled by man-hating feminists

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55 thoughts on “In my defence

  1. Well … an interesting take on an all-too-common, deplorable occurrence. Very detailed, vivid and poignant, to say the least . . . and dark, lurid and sad. Of course, the picture you so clearly paint of the woman is one to which I have never been in the least attracted ~ portrait of the quintessential whore ~ thus I have never found myself in the position of saying, “I didn’t hit her or force my way in; she was just unresponsive, not unwilling . . . I didn’t leave her in the alley; I made sure to put her in a taxi . . .” (And there are other “red-blooded males” out there who could chime in with me and say the same. We simply have never taken the “slutty” bait!) Again, very well-written, intricately detailed, intriguing piece on an quite common scenario.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is interesting. I think there are quite a few men who are not necessarily attracted to these types of women, yet given the chance, if they think it’s “laid out on a plate”, they’ll go for it anyway. They’re not marrying the girl, merely scratching an itch for one night.
      Also, it really doesn’t matter if the girl is “slutty” or not, how can one tell? She might “appear” to be, it doesn’t mean she’s necessarily “up for it”. What matters here is that no man should ever take advantage of a woman who’s intoxicated, whether she’s “slutty” or not, whether she’s their type or not. I’m not a man-hater at all, therefore I recognise there are many men who would not touch a girl who’s reached the point of being semi-comatose, whether she’s their type or not, whether they were “on a promise” or not. But then, there are other men (many) who would.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, you certainly have done an excellent job painting the picture of a woman doing everything one can imagine to attract a man to more than merely buying her drinks. Point in fact, you’ve presented the reader with the icon of whoredom. No, men should not take advantage. . . But you’ve done an outstanding job in posing the question: Is a man in this overall scenario taking advantage, or merely driving toward the destination already established by the slut?

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      2. Yes, and that is the eternal question, isn’t it? How many times have we heard about rape cases presented as such: “it cannot be rape if she was wearing slutty clothes, it cannot be rape if she made it clear she was willing to have sex” – unfortunately this way of thinking is making it all too easy for predators to get away with it.
        Let’s be clear: a woman who wears “sexy” or “slutty” clothes is NOT “asking” for it. A woman who states directly or indirectly that she’s willing to have sex is not “asking” for it either.
        The man in the scenario I have portrayed is definitely taking advantage, that man is a rapist. No matter what the girl was willing to do earlier on in the evening, the moment she becomes too drunk to know what she’s doing, it becomes rape because she is not even aware of what is happening anymore. Some people say, and it infuriates me no end, that the girl should not be drinking herself into oblivion…hence they’re implying that she deserves it. Well, she doesn’t. It might be a stupid choice to drink that much that you are comatose BUT it doesn’t mean that you should be taken advantage of. Any decent man should understand that and make sure the girl gets home safely.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Holly. I couldn’t agree more: it’s really not that difficult to understand, if you are incapacitated, you don’t know what you’re doing hence consent ISN’T possible, hence it’s rape.

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    1. Some men just don’t care as long as they “get laid”, basically anything will do. And then, there are the ones who actually get off on it, the power, the intrusion, that kind of thing – it’s all really disgusting 😔

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad it made you a little queasy, Meg – it was the idea. Thank you very much, this is a very important and often thorny issue and I’ve often wanted to write about it but somehow never have. Today, as I was walking, this popped into my head and I published it without edit or anything because I felt that in this case, “raw” was good. I’m so pleased you felt it worked as I really respect your abilities as a writer 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful! Made my heart beat fast with anger so you did a good job. If you can’t consent, it’s rape. Pure and simple. And I am so goddamn sick of this “slut” label that gets applied to women. So maybe she wanted to flirt and have fun. Maybe she enjoyed what she was wearing. Maybe -gasp- she had plans to find a man to have sex with that night. Big frickin deal. She’s a human. A woman. Not a slut. Thanks for writing this Nathalie!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, exactly! Thank *you* for seeing this as the *only* way it can be seen. I don’t know if you’ve read the comments but Jonathan, who commented on this twice but didn’t reply the second time, just published a post that can only be a “reply” post to this piece of mine. Maybe you’d like to read it: https://noblethemes.me/2016/09/30/burn-to-close-to-the-flame/
      He very clearly doesn’t agree with our definition of rape, as his comments suggested, and places the blame very neatly on the woman for being a “slut” – I find it very interesting (and by “interesting”, read disgusting) that there is no blame for the “animal” who decides to take advantage in the most appalling manner of a woman who ends up too intoxicated to know what is going on.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m afraid to go look in case I have to go off on someone, lol. I just don’t understand where the disconnect is. DO NOT put your penis into a woman who doesn’t give you an enthusiastic yes. I will have to see if I can find this very well done video on consent that likens it to serving tea. It’s just so apt and there is no way to refute it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I didn’t go off, I’m just asking him questions lol
        I’m really disappointed because I’ve followed him for a while and usually like his posts. I KNOW which video you’re talking about, I shared it on Facebook not long ago, it was just PERFECT!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well, you have more restraint than I do. I’d be disappointed too…and I don’t understand the attitude. I really don’t.
        Yes, it’s perfect. “Unconscious people don’t want tea.”

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  3. Reminds me of Cee Lo Green’s undoing: he declared on Twitter that the woman he was accused of violating did “not NOT consent” because she was unconscious. No doubt the defense strategy, which in plump arrogance he decided to share with everyone. It is the same mindset – it’s her fault – which sees women hidden under heavy veils and locked up in the house but charged with adultery when someone else violates them. In other words the privileged and entitled will always blame someone else for their wrongdoing.

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  4. This made my blood boil. Somehow it is always “her fault”…how about NO, dickhead! No means no but not saying yes ALSO means no! It makes me furious that women are advised to “dress better” in order to lessen chances of being raped. Erm, no, how about blaming the bastards who can’t keep it in their pants! Grrr…
    Anyway, well done, this is a great post which encapsulates that ignorant blamelessness which is unfortunately common these days. Great, fury-inspiring stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome!
        Yeah, that’d be nice ☺ When are you not busy? As my northern cohorts would say, you’re always running about “like a blue-arsed fly!” 😆😉

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  5. I can never understand the mindset and attempt at justification of these men, there is no excuse not to understand what rape is and any ‘defence’ of their position is just wrong. They can’t imagine the long term consequences that their victim has to deal with and all because they wanted their quick thrill…Disgusting.

    As ever my friend, you write powerfully and all who have read have felt the impact of the words. This is an important piece of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Given the current epidemic all over the news, the rape culture that’s being lauded, this was spot on. I worked for several years as a counselor for women who were assaulted (going to the hospital or court with victims.) It sickens me to see the excuses people pass off as justification for such a deplorable crime.

    Liked by 1 person

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