Friends, happiness & karma

I am so lucky to have a bunch of (carefully selected) great friends. They are all amazing people and I love them. Unfortunately, some of them cannot accept the way I’ve been treated by a certain someone and they can’t help but look for proofs that he was/is a maniac and relay the informations to me.

I don’t want to hear about that person anymore, I want to forget his existence entirely. I have told my friends all this, I’ve explained it in details and yet…they “behave” for a week and then come back to me with “the latest” because they are so outraged and disgusted by his current behaviour.

I don’t think they actually realise that the fact they’re not letting go of “this” is just making me feel angry again at the way I was used and abused.
I don’t want this incessant stream of appalling info. I already know he is a dangerous narcissist, that he sows pain and despair wherever he goes – I KNOW! Now I want to forget it!

I am at a point in my life when I can honestly say I have never been so happy. Everything is aligning perfectly, all different areas of my life equally nurtured and thriving.

For the last 3 years, I’ve had this cloud of negative energy hovering in the background: highs and lows, a never ending roller coaster of emotions provided by someone who is so unbalanced and frankly fucked up that he almost took me down with him. It’s finally over. I do not want it racked up every 10 days.

Yes, he is as unstable as ever: right now living for the intense high – studying, prospects and career currently going down the pan when it’s usually all that matters…and so what?! I know all this, I’ve seen it all before, it’s the same old narcissist cycle & I know how it will end…and I really don’t give a fuck. I don’t want a play-by-play of his lunatic behaviour. Yes, he was a real shit to me but no matter how it looks now, he’s going to be a real shit to someone else and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Let fools be fools, let losers be losers, and unfortunately, let narcissists be narcissists. I am happy and I have moved on, but the drama went on for so long and it is still fresh enough that anger can easily be roused if things are rubbed in my face.

Enough, guys. I really appreciate your concern and I love that you care enough to get so angry on my behalf but…it’s finished. Even right now, look beyond the appearances: I am truly happy, he’s not – he’s pretending to be, he’s deluding himself AND he’s embarrassing himself on a grand scale in the process. If that’s not enough for you, guys: think of karma, it’s a real bitch and it may bide its time but it always shows up in the end. Fact.

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19 thoughts on “Friends, happiness & karma

  1. So wonderful that you’ve moved on into a place of light and happiness. You’ve let it go, now it’s time for your friends to let it go. Or suggest they get therapy to deal with their issues. Ha ha πŸ™‚

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  2. Well, I’m glad you got this off your chest. I’ve only ever known you as an artist and writer, and love the raw edges of what you write.

    Your friends who are closer to you probably mean no harm when they bring up this individual. Everyone loves to watch the news/read about train wrecks and bus wrecks. It’s all human nature, in it’s glory and shame.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, you’re absolutely right that my friends don’t mean any harm at all. It’s just that they were involved in “all the drama” because they know the guy and were there and witnessed all his craziness first hand.
      Plus, yes, they cannot believe how embarrassing his current behaviour is – we have all in fact compared it to a car crash that’s so horrifying, it’s impossible to look away. So you are spot on πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Indeed…I agree completely. I too have been on that end of well meaning friendships and they don’t seem to realise how it reopens the wounds, how you want to move past it but when they relay information it just pulls you back in. The only thing for it is as you stated, to just move forward. You can only control your own actions. x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. One way or another, karma works. Maybe not first enough at times! (ha ha ha!) but I’m with you, it works. Now does that help when you want to SMASH THEIR FUCKING FACE IN? Not so much πŸ˜‰ But even that passes … wine usually helps πŸ˜‰
    Seriously though, being with a narcissist is enough to drive someone bonkers. You’ve kept yourself pretty freakin sane considering and moreover you haven’t lost yourself as much as you may fear you have. You are still you, you are still the bad ass gal that you were and nobody can take that from you without your permission and you don’t give it!
    Nuff said.
    Except for the fact that have you noticed there are more now than ever before? (narcissists) and not of one or another gender but in general of everyone? WTF is that? Is it ME ME ME world?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yeah, narcissists have become rampant. To me, it refers to what I was saying to you the other day about the fact that about 20 years ago, this “new” idea about parenting came to the fore: children should be supported, always, told they’re amazing constantly, never criticised or chastised because it might traumatise them. *rolling my eyes*
      There is a new generation of narcissists who think they’re entitled and don’t have to fucking work or try hard for anything.
      Why is it that there’s never any middle ground with parenting? We went from “children shouldn’t be indulged, ie throw them naked from the walls into the snow and if they’re strong enough they survive, if not, they were not meant to” to “never let a child get upset, never let them feel insecure or bored or not good enough because they should not ever experience any negative emotions EVER”
      I mean, WTF?
      Btw, I know the whole Spartan thing about throwing babies from the walls is most probably a myth but I was just trying to illustrate my point.
      As for MY narcissist, I believe I wrote my last post about him yesterday, it was a hell of a tome and it explained everything from the beginning, including how and why someone like me who is known for her “take no shit from anyone” attitude could ever fall victim to such a dickhead.
      That was my “closure” post and most people wouldn’t have read it but it doesn’t matter because I needed to write it and put it out there.

      Liked by 1 person

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