Where have you been? I waited so long
I am startled out of the usual post-coital daze by your words — it takes me a few seconds to find my way out of the maze consisting of half-formed thoughts and bright fireworks.
What is this? A throwaway comment prompted by satisfied lust?
Not at all your style, but this gal’s got to make sure, she’s still learning to trust — no longer the hermit in a hut, but…
I bend over your face, my hair falls around your head—it ripples as fields filled with rows of corn ahead of the approaching storm.
Your hands on my waist, my nipples yet erect press against your chest,
my alabaster skin glistening, the blood of the Vikings in my veins flowing, it seems I bow down to my king of an evening.
Straddling a man and looking into his eyes—afterwards—while he’s still inside you, can be the perfect time to extract truth like juice from an overripe fruit.
So, my eyes plunge into yours, looking, searching…
They are cloudy with the residues of the explosion which, moments before, rocked your body but—yes—swimming underneath, I detect naked vulnerability.
Your words are real—you are real.
Where have I been? What took me so long?
I was busy
with boys, not men
one of them
worthless and insane
Thinking I was helping
to fix their pain
really doing my best
Getting it out of my system
in any case
Until such time
as I would be ready
to fill every opening
every part of me
body and soul
If you make it through the thorns, the odds are the path will eventually lead to gold.
Darling, where I have been does not matter anymore, because I may have finally found my true north.
*The first huge piece of writing I created for my Master’s came back from my tutor today with great feedback and a mark which is in the Merit band. I could have cried with relief; I realised today when I was handed my work back that I’d been really quite worried about being judged on my ability to write-as a writer-rather than a journalist. I treated myself to a glass of wine to celebrate and it gave me the confidence to publish this post which I wrote 3 days ago — I’d been nervous about publishing anything new on here until I got feedback on the work I did on the Master’s — ridiculous, I know, but hey, it was a bad attack of writer’s doubt. Still, life is just grand right now 💜 *