Sœur de cœur

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Two sisters—separated—but related in every way but blood,

groping in the dark, fighting monsters in tight corners, both on a mission to live despite everything,

and love.

They escaped the hurt, the country of their birth, found each other at last

discovered

they’d both been carving words in the bark of trees, with knives made sharp by the same rejection and pain

they’d walked similar paths, paved with litter and shards of glass—determination the name of their game—fuck if they were going to give up and stop trying to grab happiness by its slippery tail.

We bore the same scars, shared the same heart, fragile like a balloon which has been repeatedly pricked and deflated too many times.

We were apart for too long, so many seasons. In the depth of winters, the humidity of summers—among other things—I was missing my sister.

I wish I’d known you when I was a little girl hiding under the covers with books, when the fear and emptiness were overwhelming, when I watched happy families, trying to find out their secret, while at home I was told I didn’t deserve any kind of warmth.

I wish you’d been there when I was 18, to hold the hair away from my face when I was sick everywhere, drunk on cheap wine and too many cigarettes because of some fuckwit who’d been messing with my head.

But now I have found you, nothing could keep me away. Nothing you do, nothing you say.

I’ll be standing by your side—and, fuck if it isn’t the ultimate cliché—but yes, come rain or shine.

Because *I* who don’t let people in easily, *I* with the trust which has to be built layers by layers, I recognised my long lost sister almost as soon as I met her

and

I love her

*for Candice*

Image credit: Nois7 on Instagram

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45 thoughts on “Sœur de cœur

    1. I will never ever let her go. Although I’m not sure if that sounds like a threat or a declaration of love haha
      Thank you, Meg. I need to catch up on your excerpts and I will do so later. Have a lovely Sunday 💜

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Vic! She left but she’s back, I’ll ask her to send you an invite to the private place she writes at. Yes, Candice and I are more like sisters than friends although we are that too of course, and I’m so grateful to have her.
      Any more dreams about Gordon? 😏

      Liked by 2 people

  1. I usually have too much to say, blab blab blab and then every once in a while I am thunderstruck. This is one of those times.
    This is actually and literally and totally the nicest thing anyone has ever written about me/them/us.
    I’m bloody glad I skipped the mascara this morning.
    You. Are. Made. Of. Win. (and starlight) (and love) (and everything that is good and worth anything in this world)
    Thank you SO much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, if I feel it, I’m gonna say it. I just wrote that reply to you about not having had many friends who were women but when I do click with one, it’s like thunder striking and that’s how I feel.
      You are just so amazing and you blow me away with your talent and your heart and the fact you have “too much to say, blab blab blab” – I love that about you. Also your passion and your brain and your mix of vulnerability and goddess strength.
      This is turning into a “pass the bucket” kind of comment so I’ll shut up but…well, you know. As they say over here: I love ya, you silly cow! Haha

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I am so, so sorry to hear that. I don’t even know what to say that’s not going to sound horribly trite. I want to give you a hug, I believe it’s the best way I can express my feelings right now 💜

      Like

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