This is probably going to be a very unpopular post but what the fuck, things have to be said.
Khaleesi is losing it: she’s become arrogant as hell and if I hear her go on about her “birthright” one more time, I’m going to do something real bad.
To be clear, I used to love this girl in the beginning. As recently as last year I wrote a post dedicated to her – I even got half naked to recreate THAT moment when she came out of the burning hut unscathed: Queen
But, too much stuff has happened and she now just irritates the hell out of me.
Yes, she has united a bunch of people to fight for her, but let’s remember:
1. She’s hot (always helps, I’m sorry but it’s a fact)
2. She has DRAGONS
3. She’s a Targaryien
Then we have Jon Snow who’s also managed to unite people and he:
Has no dragons
Is a bastard
This was perfectly highlighted in last night’s episode when Khaleesi was introduced to Jon with a list of titles as long as my arm and Jon was just…”Jon Snow”.
Then she expected him to bend the knee…
What can I say…I was muttering darkly in front of the screen:
“Don’t do it, Jon…don’t do it…DON’T YOU DARE!”
I have never loved him as much as when he declined to bend that fucking knee. Because, WHY the fuck should he? He has demonstrated leadership skills far beyond what she has. As he said, he owes her NOTHING.
I have complained in the past that dragon girl is too much of a liberal but that’s exactly what she is.
Cersei got it right when she said Khaleesi is a revolutionary, not a ruler. She wants to free all the slaves and for everyone to be safe and happy, she’s basically Jeremy Corbyn with no sense of the economical or political repercussions her actions might have.
A deluded liberal who went on about what she has been through: she was sold and raped, etc…awful, yes.
But Jon was raised as a bastard, basically an undesirable, ended up on the bloody wall, had to face a dead army, had to give up the love of his life, was actually murdered…and you didn’t see him going on about his misery in that episode, did you? No, it was left to Davos to tell Dany that, actually, Jon has been through shit as well. And he got on with it and he doesn’t even want to rule! I bet if you asked him what he wishes for the most, it would be for Ygritte to be alive and to live for the rest of his days in that cave with her – that cave where they made sweet, sweet love.
I CANNOT wait for Khaleesi “I was born to rule” to learn that actually, there might be another Targaryien left with a claim to the throne that precedes hers. I really cannot wait for that moment.
Also: khaleesi brought back dragons that everybody thought were gone forever and yet she doesn’t believe in the White Walkers? Er…
All that said, the episode belonged to the Lannisters. It’s no secret I love them, because they are fascinating characters and because they always have all the best lines. Wit always wins with me and Tyrion and Cersei are just gifts, so it was good to see the family get plenty of screen time last night. Tyrion was absolutely brilliant, as ever – I’ve wanted him as my best friend since I started watching the show because, that man drinks and knows things! That’s enough, nothing else is needed – he’s perfect.
And Cersei totally stole the show. Yes she’s a bitch and yes she won’t rule for long, but man has she got style! I have to say it: if someone had murdered my daughter, I would also lie awake at night thinking of intricate ways to get revenge. And what Cersei came up with was fucking perfect: devilishly cruel – I cheered that kiss of death – yes, I fucking did, I loved it. There is none of that “don’t look back in anger” with Cersei, she does what I would do and hits her enemies a hundred times harder than they’ve hit her – my kind of woman.
Have to say quickly that Euron Greyjoy is a joke: they might have dressed him as some kind of incongruous rockstar but he’s hammy as fuck and frankly annoying. I’m surprised Jaime has managed to refrain from sticking his head on a spike. And Jaime is the bomb btw, I love this character so, so much.
Episode 3 was easily the best of the season so far. I have resigned myself to the utter RIDICULOUSNESS of the relationship between travel and time this season. It started on the previous season actually but it’s totally out of control now and makes NO sense, but whatever. So I’ve accepted that people get to wherever they’re going – next door or across the seas – seemingly in a day.
I don’t mind suspending disbelief because this is after all, fantasy, but there are limits to what I’m willing to ignore. How can a guy who had the entire fleet on his island stolen come back that quickly with a THOUSAND ships?
“Build me a thousand ships!” he roared at the end of the previous season – and they did! On an island made of rocks where there are no trees. Not to mention the extensive labour and time needed to build just ONE SHIP, let alone a thousand.
And HOW can he somehow land on the one ship his niece and nephew are on in the freaking middle of the night? While conveniently interrupting the girl on girl action that was just about to get underway? How can he destroy their fleet without any damage to his own?
Don’t even get me started on Sam curing Jorah by just following “the instructions in a book” while experienced maesters have tried and failed, often losing their lives in the process. Who knew the cure to Greyscale was that straightforward? Just remove the affected skin and apply ointment afterwards…er…REALLY???? Give me a break.
Sansa is now a ruler, she knows how to organise food supplies, plan for the winter, she knows EXACTLY what the blacksmiths should be doing, just like THAT.
Oh man, I wish they hadn’t rushed filming this season because it really shows.
I must end on Lady Olenna though because she managed to have the (devastating) last word after swallowing her poison. To die while totally gut punching your killer? Respect. She’ll be missed.