Maybe – probably

Do you feel like you’ve seen me before? That’s because you probably have. Think back, was it maybe inside the Louvres where I stood still, as though turned to stone, mentally writing lines while a single lonely fly buzzed and twirled unable to distract no matter how hard it tried…
Could it have been in a bar, in my hand a tall glass, colourful cocktails with exotic names, inebriated laughs, climbing to the top of fantasy slides with a stupid smile and a desolate heart…
Perhaps in a palace or in a gutter looking up at the stars, it’s not given to everyone to be able to channel Oscar Wilde, lurching from disaster to triumph, melting in time to the ice in our drinks, being knowing and getting dirty without ever blushing – it’s pointless feeling shame in the dark…
Yes, you’ve met me at some point in the past, me or another very similar, and you wondered was there more to that girl than madness in fits and starts? The cigarette in hesitant fingers, the look in the eyes kinda febrile, can she really love books like she loves shoes, can anyone truly really successfully own depth and style, attend one of Gatsby’s great parties and retain the spirit and intellect of a French marquise…
It was me, it was others, the arrows from Cupid were sometimes axes stuck in our backs, the fever was not a curse but a gift, if you bleed you’re an artist, nobody wants to be empty and frozen and stare at a blank page, you shouldn’t spare yourself or anybody else,
must dance and carouse, feast and fail, fly and fall, always, to the end without regrets because the knell rings, deafening, all too soon β€” and a floating balloon just pops, deflates and there is nothing, nothing left.

*Written last night when back from the pub, I went out in crazy weather and took my usual blurry pictures because: new shoes – black suede adorned with gold spikes and, guys, I’ve gone bling with those and I usually abhor bling BUT I adore those shoes*

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57 thoughts on “Maybe – probably

  1. You’ve truly captured the nightlife. Bars and clubs are such an interesting place, aren’t they? Where else can one be surrounded by people and yet feel desolate and alone? And since you’ve mentioned Wilde, I think that a Wilde quote is in order: “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it… I can resist everything but temptation.” And yes, that photo ….. 😍 Truly tempting…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, you can feel lonelier in certain social situations than by yourself in the middle of a wood. Why a wood? I don’t know, I like woods. But you can also breathe and exist in a crowd, I’m a contradiction – it’s either one or the other for me. And as always, you’re too nice, Rob πŸ’œ

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Loved the ending… “if you bleed you’re an artist, nobody wants to be empty and frozen and stare at a blank page, you shouldn’t spare yourself or anybody else,
    must dance and carouse, feast and fail, fly and fall, always, to the end without regrets because the knell rings, deafening, all too soon β€” and a floating balloon just pops, deflates and there is nothing, nothing left.” πŸ’œ

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Have I seen you before? Yes. A stranger living in a strange land, when I land in Paris, I can’t help but think, looking at the people in the street: “Those are my people”. πŸ™‚ Neither blonde nor dark, just “chΓ’tain”. Clear eyes with a variety. (Here most people have brown eyes). Distant cousins of sorts. And believe you do look the part. Now that only happens to me in Paris or Northern France.
    I once went to Sweden for a Congress. Afterwards went out for a summer beer. And it was quite strange to watch all those look-alike swedes like tall blonde cats with blue or green eyes.
    So, yes, I have seen you before.
    A +

    Liked by 1 person

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