Connections

~ Purpleanais

When you are as fussy with everything (people included) as I am, connections are rare and you loathe to sever them. However, sometimes you have to, for whatever reason.
It happened to me last week and being the over-thinker that I am, I worried that although it was sort of a mutual decision, my parting words might have hurt the other person’s feelings.
I thought that it was more than likely I had expressed myself rather clumsily, that I gave the impression I hadn’t appreciated the connection fully, that I’d diminished it. I basically started wishing I could erase the last week and start again. 
So, I was hit with a pang of guilt and regret, but what was done was done.
Not long afterwards, I realised that this “connection” had unfollowed me both on social media and WP and had also removed me from their list of followers.
Why the unnecessary drama? We interacted for a while and it was fine until we had a conflict – it lasted a day and it wasn’t anything major. That we stopped talking privately as a result is one thing, but to go through the whole unfollowing thing as well? If they really had to unfollow me, then, fine, I can accept that choice though I don’t understand it, but to remove me from their list of followers was just ridiculous – there was nothing to warrant that, we hadn’t had a major falling-out or anything. Maybe I wanted to keep on enjoying their writing? Forcing people to unfollow you is such a silly thing to do anyway when you’re on a public platform – you can’t stop people from looking at your content unless you go the private route.
There is also the fact this person had said (repeatedly) that they admired my mind and creativity. They can’t have meant it because if they had, they wouldn’t have taken active steps so that I wouldn’t appear on their feed anywhere.
I, however, did mean it when I said I enjoyed their writing, and liked their mind, which is why I will keep on reading them – even if I have been removed from ‘lists’ – though not just yet, because right now everything I liked and still do about them is overshadowed by this…pettiness that I really didn’t expect.
I just feel that life is too short for unnecessary drama.

(Song makes sense to me, in relation to this, though it probably won’t for anyone else – and I make no apology for the Noel Gallagher worship)

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33 thoughts on “Connections”

  1. Hmm does seem a little odd to unfollow! I’ve privately emailed three ladies and with two of them we drifted apart, that’s life and the nature of blog relationships, I wonder can writing acquaintances go only so far? Do we read tooo much into the friendship? I’m the same as you with one lady we still read and comment. (Lol I dated one and you’ve just given me an idea for a post 😀 )

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    1. It’s not so much the fact he unfollowed me, it’s more that he forced me to unfollow him too by removing me from his list of followers – that’s really the bit that’s annoyed me.
      I think a lot of online acquaintances can only go so far, yes. But I don’t really indulge in those anyway.
      Will I get credit since I gave you the idea for the post? 😉

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      1. Haha of course 😀 though I’m not the most talented of writers, I understand my limitations, and lol your question leads me into a reply I’ve been mulling over all afternoon. From experience when responding back and forth via email with a lady, I’ve discovered misunderstandings can occur, confusions, misinterpreting emotions simply due to limitations of the written word, it’s easy to feel I’ve offended her in some way and that she’s offending me when neither is true! Perhaps you friend misinterpreted the reasons to end the blog friendship.

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      2. Ya, I know there were misunderstandings definitely, on both sides. And yes, it’s easier for that to happen when all you have is the written word – being face to face with someone is a much better option and helps greatly with clearer communication but it’s not an option we always have. Also, I think writing a message when inebriated is a very bad idea – I really need to stop doing that.
        Thanks so much for your input, and I’ll look forward to reading that post 😉

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      3. Good afternoon, I thought it would be good manners to say I’ve written my friendship post, the one honestly prompted by your Connection and it’ll appear tomorrow. 😀 Sounds all very mysterious, you’ll just have to keep in mind I’m possibly not the most talented of writers, but I enjoy myself here and people seem to like me even though I don’t lol really know what I’m doing! So PLEASE say if you’re unhappy though note your situation isn’t written about. LOL it’s all about me!

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      5. Haha I thought you might say that, ‘wing it’ is such a good metaphor? I enjoyed Connections for many reasons, internet relationships are a tricky one to get right especially if we’re a little drunk 😀

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  2. Relationship suck
    The only one you can truly count on
    Is yourself,I never understood the whole thing of feelings and emotions, how one minute everything is fine and the next it’s hurricane Harvey,I’ve been having this problem as of late
    People are like a revolving door, sorry to hear that it’s happen to you,but I’m afraid that this is going to be the social landscape for quite awhile, As Sheldon Always

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  5. It’s happened to me as well, Nathalie. It’s frustrating because all of us will have a disagreement at one point in our life. Is the solution to shut everyone out who doesn’t agree with you? No. I don’t get this absolutism in peoples opinions on matters.

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  9. This has happened to me as well. I never understood the drama but it does tend to leave feelings that diminish the more pleasant memories of the relationship, even if that was just mutual intellectual admiration. The excoriation is overkill.

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  10. Their loss, not yours. You do have… quite a tongue! 😉 But then that is the way you are. It’s like a number of people (no names) who cannot live with the responsibility of a free country.
    Bah. Un(e) de perdu(e), dix de retrouvé(e)s. Comme disait ma grand-mère…
    Bonne semaine.

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    1. Haha I DO have…quite a tongue! That’s who I am, I can’t change it though I do try to curb my impulses to say whatever I want to say these days. I open my mouth and think: wait! Is there any way you could rephrase that? Are you about to get into an argument again? Do you always have to be so honest? 😂

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      1. I find it refreshing. That some can’t help but speak their mind. I live in a place with so much violence that most people get hypocritical: No, no you can’t get say so-and-so is a jerk, because he might get worse.
        So please, stay honest. (La Garde meurt mais ne se rend pas!) 😉

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  11. Pingback: Email friendships with other bloggers (pt1/2) – Blog Andrew

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